Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,
While almost all Americans celebrate the national holiday of Thanksgiving, in recent years, there’s been a new gathering that has sprung up. Dubbed ‘Friendsgiving’, it’s an opportunity see people who are important to us, but aren’t necessarily our family. And whether it’s the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, or some other time, it’s a beautiful way to appreciate the significance of friendship in our lives.
Friendship is part of the universal human experience. It doesn’t matter what culture, language, or religion a person has, making and having friends is part of being a person. It’s important to note that there are different kinds of friendship, not all of them being equal. And as many of us have experienced, not every friendship is necessarily forever. There are ebbs and flows to it all, with some friendships being for a particular time and place in our lives, and some that are lifelong. There are friendships of convenience, friendships of shared interest, friendships of shared history. And then there are those friendships that are transformational in our lives; the kind that we often characterize as ‘best friends.’ It’s this last category that is most important as it provides good balance and support in our lives. It’s also an opportunity for us to see friendship through the lens of our Catholic faith.
It might sound a bit strange to describe friendship as being HOLY, yet this is the way that many of the saints and theologians speak of it. But what does it mean to have a holy friendship? In terms of what a good friendship is, there are certain qualities that are easily identifiable: friends should be able to support each other, to challenge each other when necessary, and to have the best interest of the other in mind. The same is true of a holy friendship. But there’s perhaps a little more to it as well. Listen to what St. Gregory Nazianzen said of his dear friend St. Basil and their shared friendship: “Our single object and ambition was virtue, and a life of hope in the blessings that are to come… With this end in view we ordered our lives and all our actions. We followed the guidance of God’s law and spurred each other on to virtue.”
In our friendships, do we strive for so lofty a goal? To live so holy a life and encourage the same in those close to us? It might seem that such things are beyond us, that it’s hard enough in modern times just have any friendships, let alone holy ones. But what a blessing it would be to have the love and support of someone who is spurring you on to become a living saint, that believes you can be excellent in matters of faith, hope, and love. I hope that you might already have that in your life. And if not, I pray that you might find it soon!
Peace and Goodness,
Fr. Dan
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