Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

Navigating the ups and downs of daily life can at times be stressful and the interactions we have with those around us can present challenges along the way. And while this is part of life here on Earth, it’s still important to do what we can to be kind and charitable to all. That’s why conflict resolution is such a critical skill to learn in life.

I was recently reminded of this in an online interaction I had. In broad strokes, I had met and chatted with this person online over a shared interest of video games. Things were going well and we became somewhat friendly, even checking in with each other outside of playing video games. Nothing too serious and never too personal, but still nice to have made some kind of connection. Well, long story short, they said something that I didn’t agree with, which also kind of hurt my feelings, and after letting it sit for a day or so, I told them that I didn’t appreciate it. Now, full disclosure, in looking back at it, I could have been a bit less pointed on my end, but I did leave things open for a response. And since then, there’s been no correspondence.

I believe this might be an example of what is called ghosting. And to be honest, it doesn’t feel great on my end to have someone just stop communicating altogether. That said, I do get how it can be hard to keep talking, particularly if hurt feelings are involved. But on the other hand, if individuals don’t communicate, it’s tough to resolve any kind of conflict that pops up. And I know this from my own experience.

When I was in college, I went for several months for some counseling, specifically because I struggled with conflict resolution. There were a lot of factors that led me to have poor conflict resolution; how things were modelled at home and school for me, my own personality, and the circumstances of then current situation. But it was in working through those sessions that I came to see that conflict is not necessarily the end of the world and that attempting to work through it, especially with open communication, was an important and critical piece of navigating life.

At the end of the day, losing a video game buddy is not the end of the world. And even if they don’t accept the apology I sent a couple days after the incident, such is life. But learning to keep working through things with others, to communicate openly and with kindness even in difficult moments, to seek resolution to the inevitable conflicts of life, all of this is critical to a life well lived. I pray that you don’t have much conflict in your life, but if you do, I pray that you might work to find good resolution to it with others.

Peace and Goodness,
Fr. Dan