Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,
In my ministry, one of the groups of people that I often find myself interacting with are those who are grieving. Indeed, even outside of the 60 or so funerals that occur here in the parish on an annual basis, there are many parishioners who experience loss of family and friends that extend beyond the parish but are still suffering. What do you say to people in these circumstances? It’s tempting to offer platitudes, though such efforts, despite being well-intentioned, often fall flat in the face of death. One thing that I find myself often saying to them and as a way of acknowledgement and connection for what they are currently dealing with is this: “No matter the circumstances, death is still hard.”
I believe that statement rings remarkably true. When a death is sudden and unexpected, it’s hard. When a death comes after a long and protracted illness, it’s still hard. When it’s someone young, it’s difficult. When someone lived into their 90’s or above, it’s still not easy. Every passing has challenges within it for the people who remain. And if we can acknowledge that reality, it helps in the grieving process, difficult though it may be. I experienced this a bit myself this past week.
If you happen to be a big basketball fan, you may have heard that the former player Dikembe Mutombo died this past Monday. He had an extensive NBA career, with a brief stint with the Sixers back in the early 2000’s. After his retirement, he was an ambassador for the NBA, particularly in Africa, where he was originally from, and he spent a good amount of time and money helping to build hospitals in Africa as well. As a player, he was known for his height and his defense, and famously blocked many shots. He had a trademark taunt for it as well; waving his finger in a disapproving manner to the crowds after each block.
While he was a notable basketball player, he’s been retired for years and was never a full-blown superstar. I’m sure for his family and friends, it is a tremendous loss. But in wider context, it probably didn’t make much news. But it hits home for me at a personal level. I’ve never been much for role models and celebrities, but when Mr. Mutombo came to the Sixers in 2001 and was the Center for the playoffs and Finals run that year, I was impressed. I was a 9th grader and was tall, skinny, and loved basketball. I stunk on offensive, but loved playing defense. And in Mr. Mutombo, I saw someone like me, I saw someone I wanted to emulate. His outlook and attitude towards basketball and beyond were full of joy and of hard work. I followed the rest of his career, always cheering for him to succeed. And with his passing, I now pray he gets to enjoy an eternal reward with God in heaven.
Peace and Goodness,
Fr. Dan
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